Sh*t My Dad Says - Justin Halpern

The book based on the sensational comedy Sh*t My Dad Says, story about Justin Halpern who twitter every words originated from his dad's bad mouth. He starts tweeting after being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, moved back home living with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair, has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

Some humor from the original comedy.



1. "Pick your furniture like you pick a wife: It should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it."

2. "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started ~censored~."

3. "The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

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Sh*t My Dad Says - Justin Halpern Book

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